The Fall of Mankind, Natty Ice in Space

In Star Trek the Motion Picture an unknown distant alien species discover a Voyager satellite, upgrade it and sends it back in Earth’s direction. In a nutshell, thanks to the alien upgrades, it became self-aware on its journey back to Earth and it turns out the Universe’s emptiness and lack of purpose can be quite depressing on self-aware space probes. In its depressed state it began blowing stuff up, including three new Klingon spaceships. In the end the Enterprise was able to resolve the problem before things got too far out of hand.

But, this irate space probe made me ask myself what grudge were the very hostile aliens from the movie Independence Day holding against the human race. The only alien to speak in the movie, using someone’s lifeless body as a puppet, said one thing, we want you to die. What could have possibly caused this visceral reaction across an entire alien species? The aliens mercilessly flattened our planets greatest cities killing millions of people without even the courtesy of a hello.

Today I found my answer. As the aliens in Star Trek discovered and upgraded Voyager Six, I fear the Independence Day aliens may have intercepted the amateur space program’s biggest mistake, launching Natural Ice into space. Imagine the delight on the aliens’ faces first realizing they have an opportunity to try one of Earth’s greatest creations, but it was the sound of that can opening that likely sealed mankind’s fate.